


Dear Rabbit

by turntechRavager



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Earth C, Implied Relationships, Multi, One-Sided Attraction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-16
Updated: 2018-05-16
Packaged: 2019-05-07 23:25:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14681646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/turntechRavager/pseuds/turntechRavager
Summary: A few sweeps after everyone's settled in happily on Earth C, there's one troll who didn't get to reap in the rewards from the game. One who never escape its clutches by his own will.Pretending he never cared for any of his old friends is easier said than done.





	Dear Rabbit

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the song "I Know I'm a Wolf" by Young Heretics and sadly, is not beta-read.
> 
> This will remain a one-shot unless I get some miraculous inspiration to continue.

 

_Dear Rabbit_   
_My legs are getting weak_   
_Chasing you_

You ain't even sure why you bother anymore. It's been sweeps since anyone's given you a second thought. Since you left everything behind in the pursuit of serving your true Messiah. Nothing else mattered. Nothing mother fucking else was _supposed_ to matter. And yet, here you are. Here you find yourself again and motherfucking _again_ , without fail. Back on this miraculous little ball of mud they now call home. They reign as _gods_ , the blasphemous motherfuckers, and not a single one of them have any shame in it. No shame taking credit for something that wouldn't have ever been possible without you. Without all the motherfucking work you did, right alongside him all twenty-five hellish days it took to get through that bullshit game. For you to land the winning blow that got everyone out of there alive. Not like he cared to remember. Not like he'd give you a second glance. Not anymore. And yet, here you motherfucking are, like some pathetic love-struck wriggler following his every movement, watching him silently, more often than you think you even spend listening to your Messiah rant and rave these days.

 

_The snowfields_   
_Wouldn't seem so big_   
_If you knew_   
_That this blood on my teeth_   
_It is far beyond dry_

But he couldn't possibly know. None of them ever paid you much mind when you were up and minding your own motherfucking business. Not a single one of your so-called "friends" ever took the time out of their day to come and check on you, to see how you were handling everything. The only one who would have, _shit_ , there was more than one at one point, wasn't there? Real good motherfucking job you did there, chasin' them all away. But they ain't lookin' for you no more. No one ever will again, you think. Even your Messiah doesn't bat a single overgrown eyelash if you're gone for days, _weeks_ , at a time. So why would any of them notice you watching from afar?

 

_And I've captured you once_   
_But I wasn't quite right_   
_So I'm telling you_   
_That you'll be safe with me_

You were a stupid motherfucker as a kid, who the fuck wasn't? Made a lot of mistakes you look back on and wonder if they were really the right choices to make. But the answer is always the same. This is the motherfucking way it was meant to be. There's no other possible reality out there where you come out any better than you are now. You can't accept the thought of any others having any better luck than you. There ain't no trace of none of them in any of the dream bubbles. No doomed or dead selves. No mistakes. No deaths. You may not be a real god tier like those other motherfuckers, but you realized something a long ass motherfuckin' time ago. No matter how you're cut, how deep your scars, how much blood paints the walls and floors and stains the ceiling, you just _can't mother fucking die._

 

_Rabbit_   
_My claws are dull now_   
_So don't be afraid_

You haven't felt the wicked murder rage in what seems like sweeps. To you, maybe it has been. Time's all fucked up when you're trailing behind a trigger-happy Mirthful Messiah. To them, it can't have been more than one or two sweeps. So motherfucking insignificant. You can't believe you used to think of how long of a time that was. With everything you've seen, every mother fucking single sweep you've lived, you're surprised you've kept your thinkpan as steady as it is. Sure, it was a lot of time jumpin' bullshit that you would've rather done without, but fuck if you didn't feel older for it. You don't envy those time motherfuckers who got their shit down legit.

 

_I could keep you warm_   
_As long as you can just try_   
_To be brave_

As if he'd even want to see you, with those pretty little humans of his always around. That blasphemous time motherfucker and the literal space bitch. They hover around him damn near incessantly, _especially_ Strider, and it drives you right up the motherfuckin' wall. Day in and day out, there ain't a single mother fucking time where he's all up on his lonesome. You think that, maybe, if you could catch him one day, _alone_ , you'd grow a mother fucking pair and...

 

_Yes, I know I'm a wolf_   
_And I've been known to bite_   
_But the rest of my pack_   
_I have left them behind_

Shit, the fuck are you thinking? There ain't no way. You stopped believing in miracles the day Strider opened up your eyes to all the mother fucking _lies_. Not even the discovery of your Mirthful Messiahs was enough to change that. You've been going through the motions ever since, even when shit didn't go as planned 'cause of stupid ass spider bitches gettin' up in your shit. All of it, one failed mother fucking attempt at normalcy after another, was nothin' more than you followin' the path you saw laid out in front of you. Took it where it lead, and never looked back. Not like anyone was comin' lookin' for you anyways.

 

_And my teeth may be sharp_   
_And I've been raised to kill_   
_But the thought of fresh meat_   
_It is making me ill_

Not after what you'd done. There was only so much forgiveness a motherfucker could give, and once you've slaughtered people who were supposed to be friends, no one quite looks at you the same again. But, that's not true at mother fucking all, is it? You see the whole group of them tense, trolls, humans and lusii alike. All of them down there in that little grove they've got goin' down there for whatever motherfuckin' ball they decided to kick around on this particular day. There ain't even any motherfuckin' rules, not from what you've seen of it. Looks more like they're making it up as they go along and with Strider spearheading that shit you wouldn't be at all surprised. Show off motherfucker. Makes up for your mistake, growling so deep that even though they weren't close enough to hear it, they still mother fucking _felt it_. And it scared them shitless and that, if anything, is enough to soothe the ever constant burn on your soul.

 

_So I'm telling you_

You slink back as their voices grow louder, their mundane little game put on hold to get their investigation on to figure out if whatever the fuck they felt is a danger to the grubs and wrigglers. That alone is almost enough to make you sick, but for what reason, you don't feel like placing. It could be offense at the mere concept of coddlin' the little shits before they're thrust out into the real world, which no matter what they all be tryin' to do, would _always_ be harsh and unforgiving.

 

_That you'll be safe with me_

This might be the longest he's ever bothered looking for you, even if he ain't got a clue who or what he's lookin' for. You let them trail you for a few miles, throwing out shit to throw some off the trial, keep others on, make sure they know what they're fucking with is ready to fuck right back. Should be enough to get most of the stupid motherfuckin' pests to fuck off. The only ones who'd persist would be him and his two disgusting little pet humans and that's an encounter you're more than willing to abscond the fuck away from.

 

_So Rabbit_

...They're splitting up, and for the motherfucking life of you, you can't figure out _why_. It makes no god damn sense, how they're fanning out in other directions. How your blood _mother fucking **boils**_ as you watch him watchin' that blasphemous piece of shit. You think if you ever felt the stirrings of rage again, that it would be very similar to what you feel whenever you watch the two of them. But this is dragging on longer than you'd planned, you have to leave.

 

_Please stop looking the other way_

You've never been one to hesitate, so it comes as a shock when you find yourself unwilling to take the steps required to flashstep your way the fuck back off to the Messiah's planet. You've never doubted your own actions, never allowed yourself to stop and question **_a single mother fucking thing_** , because doubt and losing sight of yourself was how you got into this whole mess in the first place. But there he is, walking through the woods **_all motherfuckin' alone_** , and you know this could be your one and only chance.

 

_It's cold out there_

You can't. _You_ _**mother fucking CAN'T**._ You rip your sight away from him, turning sharply and prepared to leave. Leave all this behind, pretend it never fucking happened, that it's the last time, _it has to be **the last motherfuckin' time**_ **.** Just like you've told yourself every other motherfucking time. This time, for sure, you won't come back. Maybe you'll finally slip and fall, and one or a dozen of your Messiah's bullets will finally do the job he seems pretty half-assed at doing whenever he tries. If your Messiah wanted you dead, you should be motherfuckin' dead by now. Those thoughts are almost a comfort as you prepare to leave this forsaken planet behind.

"...Gamzee?"

 

_So why not stay here  
Under my tail?_


End file.
